There’s a scene in Fast X that feels like the series is finally looking at itself in the mirror. The agency that once funded our cavalcade of petrolhead power rangers has turned against our heroes, watching their growth from humble street racers to international crime fighters before a Neon Genesis Evangelion-esque board of faceless executives vote to have them wiped off the face of the planet. All because Jason Momoa tried to nuke the Vatican for a laugh.
I could describe any scene in this film, and you’d be convinced I was making things up. John Cena has built a muscle car capable of firing rockets that propel him into the air to rain hell upon his enemies, while Charlize Theron is in command of a nuclear submarine on the edge of the Arctic Circle that will no doubt play a huge role in the coming trilogy. Every second of this action blockbuster is blissfully self-aware and utterly ridiculous, and for once isn’t afraid to admit that we aren’t here for memorable performances, compelling narratives, or a lick of common sense. It’s all about cars and family - which this tenth instalment delivers in excess.
Fast 9 felt like it was treading water. Aside from the introduction of Cena as Jakob Toretto, who in this sequel might as well be a different character as he becomes a goofy uncle with a love for cheesy pop tunes and huge explosions, the action was middling and stakes seldom held consequence. You knew everyone was set to emerge unscathed, while Dom’s brother changing sides at the end was a forgone conclusion thanks to the power of family. Aside from that though, it wasn’t clear where things were going or how Vin Diesel could justify another film, let alone an entire trilogy. After Fast X, I’m ready for it.
From the outset, Fast X subverts our expectations and sets up an overarching story that doesn’t want us to consider logic or reason, only to care about its characters and cheer them on as they struggle to triumph against insurmountable odds. To my shame, I ended up caring far more than I should have. Even Vin Diesel’s Dom Toretto pulled my heartstrings with his deadpan, teary-eyed delivery. Turns out that protecting your son can be good character motivation, and also makes you impervious to bullets, explosions, gravity, physical trauma, being hit by cars, stab wounds, and basically anything else. This dude is immortal, as is pretty much everyone in Fast X thanks to plot armour so absurd it’s almost laughable. But through stellar action cinematography and set pieces so ridiculous you could throw them into Metal Gear Solid without batting an eyelid, it becomes easy to forgive.
Jason Momoa’s Dante steals the show, and is the series’ most charismatic villain thanks to a scenery-chewing delivery and a characterization that surprisingly goes against the pompous masculinity Fast has become so synonymous with. His luscious hair, bright nails, and campy demeanour make him feel unpredictable, solidified by a desire to make Toretto and his family suffer instead of dying outright. After having everything taken from him during a deadly heist in Fast 5 - yes, he’s been retconned into the universe - he’s back for revenge and has all the money, power, and influence needed to take over the world. I immediately likened him to Keftka from Final Fantasy 6. Both know how to win and systemically pick those around them apart even in the face of defeat. Dante is a big bad who is here to stay, and I’m so excited to see more of him. Momoa has all the film’s best lines too, and you just know he’s having a blast on screen whenever he shows up. I almost wanted him to win at times.
The weakest supporting players continue to be the likes of Roman, Tej, and Ramsay - who are thankfully bolstered by the presence of Han and Deckard Shaw. I’m using character and actor names interchangeably throughout this review because we’ve long crossed that weird threshold, and when describing this film to friends and family I’ve done the exact same thing. You know where I’m coming from, so please go with it. The former three characters are the comic relief in a story that doesn’t exactly need it, resulting in weak jokes and sudden bouts of conflict meant to stir up drama, but it all blows over and never leads anywhere. Roman develops an inferiority complex after leading a mission that all goes wrong, though it’s hard to buy into this overcoming of self-doubt when we’ve never taken him seriously in the past.
Fast X is the opening act in a much bigger production, which is a ludicrous thing to say given this is a film with more action than entire franchises. You rarely have a chance to catch your breath, and the continued spouting of family values and tackling life a quarter mile at a time should grow tiresome, but things have come full circle before the finale rears its head. What we have here is an excessive, anime-infused extravaganza that delights in its own deliberate excess, knowing that we are watching and waiting for it to top the impossible. I have no idea where things are going, but consider me ready for more with an ice-cold Corona in hand.
